Nightmare at the Market of Konoha
by Vanidades
Summary: Naruto and Hinata are out for some shopping! What happens when some idiots pops in the market and make of their day a living nightmare? And worse, when a demon comes with a business to run at Konoha! R&R!
1. Boredom

Me: It is I, BlooDy-MaY! This is my first attempt at Naruto's fic! And I'm going to do my best so that you all like it. This takes place 3 years after the Naruto Series!

Sasuke: This is going to be a NaruxHina and for all of you who don't like the pairing, just don't read it!

Naruto: **Disclaimer!** **The author BlooDy-MaY, does not own any of the characters of the Naruto series, dattebayo!**

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Nightmare at the Market of Konoha Village

**Chapter 1: Boredom**

.:Hinata's POV:.

It was one of those random days when you would feel like doing something, but you don't have much to do, just train at your old man's dojo and listen to his blubbery all day, about how good your cousin is at the perfection of the Hyuuga bloodline the 'Byakugan'.

So I decided to, for once in my life, get out of the dojo and take a walk… alone.

'_Maybe I can drop by Naruto-kun's place…' _I thought as a shade of red posed at my cheeks.

Without noticing I was already in front of Naruto-kun's house, knocking at his door and when I finished doing that I started to poke my fingers like I use to do.

.:Naruto's POV:.

"DEAR HOKAGES!" I yelled as I got up and stretch my limbs, just to open my eyes wide and find myself lying at my bed, at the mess that was my apartment.

I look around as I get up, moving freely in my boxers, to the kitchen. There I look around for something to eat and start to think of what to do today, I feel like doing nothing, not even my daily pranks, so I guess I'm not doing anything special today.

Just then I hear a knock at the door, must be Iruka-sensei bringing me some breakfast.

I move to open the door just to find a blushing Hinata staring at me in awe.

.:Normal POV:.

"Hinata," Naruto says in a mid tone, as she was standing there blushing like she has never done.

"H-Hi N-Naruto-kun… H-How are y-you?" Hinata asks smiling and looking down.

"Um… Ok, I guess. You?" Naruto asks to the purple haired girl staring oddly at her blush. "Are you ok? I mean… You're all red, Hinata. Should I take you to your dojo?" he asks placing a hand on top of Hinata's forehead, this making her blush even more. "Dear Lord Hokages! Hinata! You're burning up!"

"I- I… I think I'm going to faint now…" she let out a sigh and fainted, just time so that Naruto could pick her up.

Naruto picked her up bridal style and carried her over to his bed, placing her down, slowly and then looked around to notice that he had taken a girl… no, not only a girl, he has taken HINATA inside of his mess.

'_Damn! What have I done!' _The last Uzumaki was now fighting with his mind, yeah, I know, we all thought that he didn't have one, but these couples of years have thought him how to use that thing.

Some minutes later Hinata was full awake, looking around, not recognizing the room she was in until a certain blonde (who was still in his boxers) was running side to side at his room.

"N-Naruto-kun!" she snapped at the blonde as he stopped and stared at her.

"Hinata! You've woken up! Hehe…" he laughed nervously and started to look around as she did the same, noticing all the garbage that Naruto kept at his dorm. "Sorry about the big mess."

"How should I say this? N-Naruto-kun…" she finished as the blonde quirked a brow at her. "Y-You're… still in your b-b-boxers…"

There was a pregnant pause as Hinata blushed even more when she saw the reaction of Naruto, whose face was turning crimson red, obviously embarrassed.

"Hehe… sorry about that!" Naruto yelled running towards the bathroom and putting some clothes on.

Hinata stood up and looked around, to look at Naruto's apartment. It was small, dirty and yet a little comfy.

"N-Naruto-kun?" she asked.

"Yeah?" she could hear his voice coming from the bathroom.

"I… I don't mean to intrude in your life but… W-What if we go shopping today?" she asked as a shirtless Naruto popped to where she was standing.

"I don't have enough money, as you can see…" he said putting his shirt.

"D-Don't worry about that. T-the people in the village know my father very well… S-so I guess I can use that to buy you some things." She said slightly blushing as Naruto grinned at her.

"Thank you Hinata!" Naruto replied with the same grin and placed a hand upon hers. "Then… Shall we?" he asked as Hinata blushed, she couldn't believe that Naruto was taking her hand.

"Oh… R-Right… Let's go." She replied to Naruto's question as both of them made their way to Konoha's Marketplace, not knowing the nightmare that was about to unfold.

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There! Now... for what's coming next... it's up to you my dear readers! Review and I shall update soon! 


	2. Kyuubi, Jiraiya and the Hormones

Me: It is I, BlooDy-MaY! Well… This is the second chapter of **Nightmare at the Market of Konoha, **I really warn to all of your, dear readers, that there is some foul language here!

Sasuke: It's up to you, to read it or not.

Naruto: **Disclaimer!** **The author BlooDy-MaY, does not own any of the characters of the Naruto series.**

Jiraiya: **Dattebayo Production Presents: **

All: **NIGHTMARE AT THE MARKET OF KONOHA'S SECOND CHAPTER!

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**Chapter 2: Kyuubi, Jiraiya and the Hormones**

They finally arrived to the Marketplace, all eyes on them.

Naruto was still holding Hinata's hand and walking with the greatest grin you could ever seen, he was glad that he came to meet such a good friend as Hinata. He was glad that he meet her and that they came to be such great friends and he was even starting to take serious all the silly things he said to her 3 years ago.

Hinata on the other hand, was blushing (as always), thinking that Naruto was starting to get serious on their relationship and maybe he wanted to take it to the 'next step'.

As they hit the Marketplace, a surprise no one was expecting, greeted our two lovebirds… and that was… Naruto's sensei… the Ero-senin, Jiraiya!

"Oi! My pupil finally got a hottie for himself! I can't believe what my eyes are seeing!" he yelled and ran towards Naruto giving him a bone-crushing hug. **"FINALLY! I KNEW THAT YOU WOULD FOLLOW MY STEPS!** I'm so proud of you! Now! **OFF TO HAVE MORE UZUMAKIS!"**

"Ero… senin… You… are leaving me… breathless…" Naruto said gasping for air as his sensei let go of him. "What was that for, you pervert!" Naruto yelled as he started to cough. "You almost kill me back there!"

"I'm just so proud to see that my pupil found a hottie for himself! And best of all… it is no other girl than Hinata Hyuuga! One of the must beautiful, gorgeous, kind yet powerful girls around town!" Jiraiya finished as tears slid down his face.

"**SHUT UP**! She's not my girlfriend! We're just… good friends! Yeah, that's it, dattebayo!" Naruto yelled with a shade of red going up to his cheeks.

"_Right… Is that what you really want? Be good friends, you twerp?"_ asked an echoed voice from deep within Naruto.

"_Kyuubi! Shut up, you dog minded fox!" _Naruto scolded the great Nine Tail Demon Fox.

"_No offense taken! Anyways twerp… You know that you're already 17 years old… Damn it! 17 years living in the body of this failure…" _Kyuubi said with a sigh.

"_**HEY!** What's that supposed to mean!"_ Naruto barked back.

"_The truth… Never mind that… As I was saying, you already know that you're 17."_

"_So?" _Naruto asked scratching the back of his head.

"_You know… I can feel the hormones getting wild here! They're even throwing a party! You know? Too much cheese to keep inside?" _Kyuubi told Naruto with sarcasm pouring out of his voice.

"_And here I thought Jiraiya was the worst pervert on Earth…" _Naruto sighed as he saw Jiraiya taking notes into his hentai book.

"What you writing now, Ero-senin?" Naruto asked as Jiraiya took him from an ear, forgetting of his book. "Itai…"

"I told you to not call me by that name, you damn brat!" Jiraiya scolded him in front of Hinata, and then got back to his writing as blood started to come out of his nose.

"Urgh! That's grose! Ero-senin… Just… what the hell are you writing about? Is that what I think it is?" Naruto asked as his sensei smirked (blood still pouring out of his nose). "Yeah, that **IS**, what I think it is."

"N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata whispered as Naruto looked at her.

"Right… Ero-senin, I'm leaving!" he said waving good-bye to his perverted sensei and taking Hinata's hand once again. "Why does everyone out here think we're a couple?"

"M-Maybe because we're holding hands?" She asked as Naruto looked at her and blushed.

A/Q: Is he such a moron?

"OH! Sorry… did it upset you?" Naruto asked as Hinata blushed and shook her head. "Then… I guess it's alright!"

"_Too much hormones here! Gotta get them out, twerp!" _Kyuubi came back to the scene as Naruto just growled. _"Not that way, you moron! That's the way you let out stress, not the cheese that these hormones are creating! **MAN! THIS IS WORST THAN BEING IN THE KRAFT CHEESE MANUFACTURING FABRIC!** There's cheese everywhere!" _Kyuubi stated as Naruto's left eye started to twitch. _"Hey brat! Having a fit or something? Need some of my chakra to overcome it?"_

"_Just shut up, you grotto minded fox!" _Naruto scolded as he was still walking with Hinata.

"_Grotto, huh? A big word for a not-minded doll like you, twerp. You're a fast learner! I can see that that Iruka guy has turned out to be a great teacher. Anyways… let out the cheeeeeeeese boy! Too much stress, too much stress, too much cheese, too much cheese!" _Kyuubi sang as Naruto's left eye twitched even more.

"You ok, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked in a sweet voice.

"Yeah… Just fine." He replied as his left eye continued twitching thanks to Kyuubi's song.

"_Hey twerp!" _No response from Naruto's part. _"Twerp! I'm still here y'know?"_

"_What now Kyuubi?" _Naruto asked tired of his singing and his little 'advices'.

"_Remember to buy some condoms at the Marketplace! For the cheeeeeese thingy!" _Kyuubi finished laughing off.

"_Shut the Fuck up already! You're driving me mad! Fall asleep!" _Naruto scolded the red kitsune and stopped at the grocery store.

"Dear Hokages! It's food! Everywhere I look! There's food everywhere!" He yelled starting to bounce up and down, as the moron he was, Hinata staring at him in shock. "Come on Hinata!" Naruto yelled taking Hinata with him and entering the grocery store.

"N-Naruto-kun! Take it easy! W-We still have all day!" she remarked to the blonde who was smiling as his eyes turned into big blue hearts.

"Meatballs… Rice balls… Pasta… Milk… Ramen… **RAMEN!"** he yelled taking lots of Ramen boxes with him. "This is heaven!" he yelled taking lots of food with him.

Some minutes later, Naruto was carrying lots of food bags. Things like potatoes chips, lots of milk boxes, water bottles, fruits, candies and of course ramen could be seen.

"Think that's all Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked looking at the grinning boy who was walking beside her.

"Yup! Thank you so much, Hinata! You're the GREATEST friend I've ever met!" he said kissing her at the cheek and taking her hand. "Where to now?"

"Well… We weren't finished here…" She said taking Naruto to the cleaning products area. "Let's buy some products so that we can clean up that apartment of yours." Hinata said as Naruto blinked… and blinked again… and again… and again.

"S-Sure!" Naruto replied as he saw her taking lots of products with her and then dropping by the cashier.

"_Hey twerp!" _Kyuubi once again, made it into the scene.

"_What do you want now?"_

"_Did you buy the condoms?"_

"**_ARGH! SHUT UP!" _**Naruto scolded the demon fox as Hinata got to his side.

"Shall we?" she asked smiling at the boy as they got outside and found Tsunade, Shikamaru and Temari walking towards them.

"**NARUTO!"** yelled the Fifth Hokage. "How you been, moron?"

"Tsunade baa-chan!" he yelled back to the woman as she stared daggers at him. "Same as ever, granny… same as ever."

"How troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed and shrugged as he saw Naruto's reaction.

"So… you finally found yourself a cutie pie?" Tsunade asked to the blonde as he sighed for the 1000th time in this morning.

"She's not my girlfriend." He said eyeing Shikamaru and then Temari. "But our Shikamaru found himself a hot tempered blonde!" he yelled patting on Shikamaru's shoulder. "Congrats, dattebayo!"

"Why do you have to be so troublesome, Naruto?" he asked as he saw that Temari was taking out her mega super big fan.

"Eto… I was only kidding Temari! Don't take it personal!" Naruto yelled as Hinata was still looking at him. "What about you, granny Tsunade? Still not going forward to kiss the Ero-senin?" Naruto asked smiling down at the pissed off woman.

"You really know how to piss me off, kid." She replied eyes narrowing at him.

"_Twerp! Look at the size of those boobs man!" _Kyuubi stated as Naruto turned slightly green at the thought. _"Too old for ya? Well… Stay with the Hyuuga child. I like here more." _

"**_PERVERT!" _**Naruto scolded as Jiraiya appeared at the scene.

"**TSUNADE!"** he yelled, running arms wide open towards the woman.

"I'm so not going to kiss you." She said as the man cried, frustrated.

"Why are you so mean with me, Tsunade?"

"Because you're a pervert!" yelled the group of ninjas as the elder cried.

"_And here, I was starting to admire the old man…" _Kyuubi sighed and went off to train with a pencil as a kunai and a pen as a needle. _"I'll be like **HAKU!** What did I just said**? NO! THE TWERP'S INSANITY IS TAKING OVER MEEEEE!"** _Kyuubi snapped at himself and started to smack his head against his computer's keyboard. _"How come… I have a PC! Time to meet some female kitsunes here! As for these hormones… Twerp!"_

"_What?"_

"_Too much cheeeeeeeese! Let it all out!" _

"_**SHUT UP!** I'll kill you, dattebayo!"

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DONE! This is the end of my second chapter! Review and I shall update! XD 


	3. Team Gai and Other Idiots

Me: It is I, BlooDy-MaY! Well… I made it to my third chapter! YAY! Cheers for me!

Tsunade: She is a lil bit off of her head right now, so please, do not pay much attention to what she has to say.

**Neji: Disclaimer: The sweet and random BlooDy-MaY does not own anything from the Naruto series, she's just borrowing us, characters!**

Kyuubi: **Dattebayo Productions Present:**

All: **NIGHTMARE AT THE MARKET OF KONOHA'S THIRD CHAPTER!

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**Chapter 3: Team Gai and Some Other Idiots**

Hinata and Naruto started to walk down the streets of the Marketplace as they saw a green flash passing by them. They turned to look at the green thing as the blinked, and blinked, and blinked once again.

"**THAT'S IT! THE SPIRIT OF YOUTH HAS FINALLY PAID OFF! YOU'RE FASTER THAN THE WIND, LEE!" **Yelled a man that was wearing spandex green clothes.

"A dwarf has escaped from Santa Claus' house!" Naruto yelled shielding behind Hinata.

"**SENSEI!"** Yelled another teenager who was wearing spandex green clothes.

"So… that's who they were…" Naruto sighed, as he was getting ready for the scene that was coming up.

"**LEE!"**

"**SENSEI!"**

"**LEE!"**

"**SENSEI!"**

Both of the shinobis hugged themselves as sunshine, water splashing on the rocks and seagulls flying on top of their heads appeared enigmatically in the background.

"**GAI SENSEI!"** yelled the blonde shinobi running towards the other two, leaving Hinata behind.

"Naruto! How is your youth spirit paying off lately?" the jounin asked to Naruto as the blonde just grinned.

"Well… Alright I guess, but never mind that! When are you going to give me the clothes you promised me!"

"Well. Since you've turned into quite a grown up teenager, and the spirit of youth is blossoming within you, I shall honor you with them!" The man said handing Naruto a folded cloth that he held.

"**OH DEAR HOKAGES! TODAY'S THE DAY I GOT PAYED FROM ALL MY TRAINING!"** Naruto said hugging the clothes and crying from happiness. "See Hinata? I got the same clothes as Gai sensei, isn't that awesome!" He asked to the kunoichi who was staring eye widened.

"Y-Yeah… I-I see that N-Naruto-kun…" she said as Naruto held up the clothes to get a nicer look.

"_Hey twerp! You gonna use those clothes as condoms, right? I mean… you're not gonna wear that traumatizing clothes on you, right?" _Kyuubi asked to the carrier of his soul as he saw that the blonde was getting excited every time he placed his eyes on the clothes. **_"FOR THE LOVE OF YONDAIME, SOMEBODY HELP ME! GET THESE HORRIBLE AND TRAUMATIZING CLOTHES OFF THE KIT'S HANDS! HE'S GONNA MAKE MY EYES BLEED IF I KEEP SEEING THAT CLOTHES! SOMEBODY HELP THIS OLD AND HELPLESS FOX TO GET RID OF THOSE CLOTHES BEFORE I END UP ENCLOSED IN A PSYCHIATRIC WARD INSIDE THIS BIG AND EMPTY HEAD!" _**Kyuubi said smacking his head against his computer once again.

And like an answer to his prayers, someone took the clothes from the hands of Naruto and set them afire.

"Wha? My beautiful green-spandex-clothes! **ERO-SENIN! **I'll behead you!" Naruto screamed crying as 4 people came into the scene.

"YES! MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN HEARD! I LOVE YOU YONDAIME, EVEN THOUGH YOU LOCKED ME UP IN THIS FAILURE OF A BODY!" Kyuubi sighed and stopped the smacking and started making a happy dance like the one Zig made in 'Ice Age'. 

"Still being the same idiot as ever…" came an icy and cool voice from behind Gai sensei and Rock Lee.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled still whipping like a little baby.

"Hmph… You're just an idiot." Sasuke said giving his back to Naruto.

Rock Lee turned around to face the 4 newcomers as he saw that one of them was his beloved Sakura.

"Oh! Such beauty has blinded my eyes! Her youth spirit has sure blossomed! She looks prettier every day that passes." Rock Lee ran towards Sakura just to worship her using the words 'Spirit of youth' in every line he spoke.

"How you been Lee?" Sakura asked to the fuzzy brows as Sasuke glared at him.

"That's what happens when you hang with Gai Sensei too much…" Neji said as he spotted Hinata with his Byakugan (not that she was THAT far away, only to make things more interesting and show off). "Aha! Found ya, Hinata-sama."

"Hyuuga… Did you have to activate that grose thing that pops veins around your eyes just to find a girl who's standing like…" Sasuke stopped and activated his Sharingan to fin Hinata was going to move about three feet away from Neji, "Like I was saying… a girl who's going to move three feet away from you?"

"Sasuke! When did you come back!" Naruto yelled running to hug Sasuke.

"Hey! Get off you dumbass…" Sasuke said struggling to pry Naruto off.

"Hinata… what are you doing here?" Asked Neji.

"N-Neji nii-san, I-I was shopping w-with Naruto-kun." She replied bowing and looking at the struggle Sasuke was pulling so that Naruto would let him go.

"Hmph… What are you going to do when your father finds out?" he asked to his cousin as she just blushed. "Thought so…"

"Don't be so harsh with her, Neji. She just wanted to have a day off. After all she's not like you, not everything's training in her world, you know?" Tenten butted into the conversation.

"Shut up…" Neji said with a slight blush in his cheeks.

"Oh… the spirit of youth is blossoming in Konoha Village! **LOVE IS IN THE AIR!"** Gai sensei yelled as everyone looked at him. "Even my dearest pupil is madly in love!"

Everyone there just glared at Gai sensei, well, except Lee who was too busy worshiping Sakura.

"Is he on drugs or something?" Neji whispered to Tenten who just shrugged.

"_This man's on drugs! I tell you twerp! You still want to be like him? I think he has never let out any cheese in his whole life!" _Kyuubi stated as Naruto just sweat dropped. _"Anyways! Off to my pc! Maybe I can start to write naughty books, like Jiraiya."_

"_Pervert!" _

"_Ohh, my book's gonna be called **'NARUTO'S CHEESE PARADISE'. **What do you think, brat?" _Kyuubi asked as he saw Naruto's left eye twitching again. _"Another fit, kit?"

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Wanna know what's next? UPDATE!

C'ya around! May chocolate cake rain all over you! (The reviewers of course)


	4. A Genius for Many, A Pervert for Others

Naruto: Wheee! -dancing around-

Sasuke: BlooDy-MaY is taking a bath right now, so please, deal with it!

Naruto: Hinata! Say the disclaimer for us, please!

**Hinata: D-Disclaimer… B-BlooDy-MaY d-doesn't own any characters from t-the N-Naruto series. S-She's just borrowing us. A-as well as she d-doesn't own the songs m-mentioned in this cha-pter…**

Tsunade: **Dattebayo in collaboration with Yuka Productions present!**

All: **NIGHTMARE AT THE MARKET OF KONOHA'S FOURTH CHAPTER! **

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Chapter 4: A Genius for Many, A Pervert for Others**

Naruto and Hinata kept on walking, making a mad attempt to get out of the sight of Team Gai, Sakura and Sasuke.

Naruto came with a weird sight… Jiraiya was talking with no other boy that Kankuro, as strange background music started to play. It was some kind of sticky groove that had a beat no one could ever resist, as the two of them started to make a weird dance.

Naruto and Hinata ran towards both of the dancing guys and stared at them in awe as their bodies moved in a strange way. Team Gai and the other two followed Naruto and Hinata.

"Ero-senin! What the hell is this!" Naruto yelled asking to his sensei what was the strange music about. Jiraiya, thanks to the so loud volume of the music, didn't hear anything that his pupil asked.

"_Kit! This is called techno music!" _Kyuubi said dancing at the beat of the music. _"The song is performed by Benny Benassi and it's called 'Satisfaction'. It is one of the hits that was playing sometime ago on the radio of the author's lost land."_

"_Then… that means that we are **FAR** from lost… we're **VANISHED** from the face of the Earth, we didn't even know Techno music until she introduced it here!" _Naruto said as he eyed the men who were dancing.

"_Well… she introduced it to **ME,** kit!"_ Kyuubi snapped as Naruto quirked a brow.

"_Then… who the hell made it play here?" _

"_Well of course it was her idea… she sent it via Internet, and then I sent it to Jiraiya, you know? He uses to carry a pc in that notebook of his. We're planning on doing some business here on Konoha, since I, The evil Nine Tailed Fox, never got to destroy the village; I'm planning on destroying it in another way! Mwahahaha! **I'M EVILNESS ITSELF!"** _Kyuubi said as he started to make an 80's dance. _"I'm evil! I'm evil! Go, go! I'm evil!" _he said cheering himself.

"_Right… You're so evil, you ended up having me as a container…" _Naruto said as Kyuubi stopped his dance.

"_Did you just used sarcasm in that sentence?" _the fox asked as Naruto nodded and he burst into eternal laughter.

"_What!"_

"_Well… heh… you see… It was because I **AM** evil that I ended up locked up at this body! **THIS IS FRUSTRATING! A 17 YEARS OLD BOY WHO CAN'T EVEN LET OUT HIS CHEESE! PEOPLE MUST HAVE HATED ME! YONDAIME MUST HAVE HATED ME FAR FROM POSSIBLE, TO HAVE ME LOCKED UP IN THIS BODY! EVERYONE HATES ME! I'M UNLOVED! I'M LOVELESS!"** _Kyuubi stated as he started to cry.

"_Come on, Kyuubi! I don't hate you! You've become like… in my best friend! You're always watching over me, and you keep me alive! How could I just not love you! The author of the manga wasn't that bad when he made Yondaime hate you! If he never did, we would've never met! And the author of the fic has just made a cheesy moment with us! I can't believe it! It makes me hate her! She made us huggable! She made me look more like an idiot that loves a demon fox, and has made you a lovable fox! How could you hate that?" _Naruto asked as the fox started to sniff. _"What's wrong now?"_

"_I can't believe this… **PEOPLE DO LOVE ME, KIT! THEY DO!** Thank you for those kind words! Maybe now I'll consider taking over your body, twerp!"_ Kyuubi said giggling as Naruto's left eye started with his twitching thing.

"_I hate when authors make me look like this… One day… I'll have my revenge on them! **ONE DAY!" **_Naruto said as Kyuubi sang Mariah Carey's song 'One Sweet Day'.

"ONE SWEET DAAAAAAAAAY!" 

"_Shut up, Kyuubi!" _Naruto scolded the fox.

"_I wasn't singing because of what you said! It was something that hit my mind, twerp!"_

"_Something?"_

"_Yeah… That one sweet day…"_

"_One sweet day?"_

"**_ONE SWEET DAY YOU'LL LET OUT ALL OF YOUR CHEESEEEE!" _**Kyuubi mocked as he laughed as hard as he could, making Naruto forget about him and placing his mind on Jiraiya and Kankuro, who were still dancing weirdly.

"**OHH! WHAT A WAY TO LET THE SPIRIT OF YOUTH BE RELEASED!"** exclaimed Gai as he joined the other two making a mediocre dance.

The group stared at disgust at his dance; Naruto slapped his forehead and turned slightly green as he saw Gai dancing the way he was doing, Hinata, well, being the innocent girl she was, she just decided to look down and poke at her fingers, Neji was already throwing up his breakfast, Tenten was asking to herself if this would happen to her if she kept on spending more time with her sensei, Sasuke rolled his eyes and sighed in disgust as he looked far more disgusted at the Hyuuga genius, Sakura was looking at them in disgust, too, but what made her jaw drop to the ground was that Rock Lee decided to join his sensei.

Naruto, desperately and without noticing, clung to the other person who was begging for it to end… and it was no other than, Neji Hyuuga.

Both of the boys held themselves tightly, crying rivers as they saw Gai sensei and Lee dancing, and clutching into one another like if Neji was Naruto's life line and vice versa.

"**PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF THE DEAD ONES! PLEASE STOP THIS ABHOMINATION! THIS IS A CONSPIRACY TO END THE NINJA LINE! SOMEBODY HELP US! PLEASE DO SO! HOKAGES! IF YOU'RE HEARING US! PLEASE SEND SOME HELP TO THESE HELPLESS TEENAGERS!" **both of the shinobis yelled as Tsunade came in view and started to dance with them making the whole group cry this time.

"**YOU GUYS ARE KILLING US!" **the whole group exclaimed and stood there crying for what was something like an eternity.

"Tsunade baa-chan…" Naruto said while sobbing. "You… you've turned your back… against your village… **YOU'RE A TRAITOR!"** the blonde yelled smacking his head against the floor, having no effect in bringing him pain since he has a forehead protector.

"That's it… I can no longer take this!" yelled Sasuke as he stood up removing tears from his eyes. "Some people say, that if you cannot beat your enemy… you should-" he was cut off by a pleasing Sakura.

"**PLEASE SASUKE! DON'T DO IT! DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN!"** she yelled as Sasuke glared at her.

"You're… annoying." He whispered as she clutched to his leg.

"Yeah! I know! You told be that before! Remember? Manga Vol. 1, Chap. 2, Page 22, Line number 6?" She said grinning, standing up and showing Sasuke the manga book. "Here!" the pink haired girl handed the book to Sasuke, as he took it and read.

"I see…" he said sighing and shrugging, "Then, you're **FAR** from annoying… You're a burden!" Sasuke said as Hinata stood up, still crying and poked his shoulder. "What?"

"W-well, you see, t-the burden here is I. M-my father always told me t-that I was a burden f-for everyone…" She said as Neji and Naruto looked at her.

"Hey brat!" Yelled Jiraiya at Naruto, who looked at him. "Tell that Kyuubi guy, that the music is awesome and that the deal is on! It's gonna be a 25 to each!" he grinned and went to his dancing.

"25 for each? You mean… there's four people supporting this business?" Tenten asked as Jiraiya nodded.

"Who's the fourth member?" Asked Naruto as Jiraiya grin got wider.

"Tsunade!" he yelled as the group fell backwards, anime style, and suddenly Naruto got up.

"**TSUNADE BAA-CHAN! HOW COULD YOU CALL YOURSELF A HOKAGE! YOU'RE A SHAME FOR US ALL!" **Naruto yelled as they kept on dancing and Gai sensei could be seen from five thousand miles away thanks to the blinding effect that his grin had on everyone else and his stupid dancing along with Rock Lee.

"**THIS IS HELL!" **the group of shinobis yelled as Kakashi, Kurenai, Shino, Kiba and Akamaru came into the scene to join the dancing party.

"K-Ka… **KAKASHI SENSEI!"** Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto yelled, as even more tears came out of their eyes.

Kakashi was dancing numbly; his eye was almost closed as always. Seriously, what did he have on his eye? And how could he see? I mean… he only sees with one eye and it's almost closed! Anyways!

Kakashi, as I said, was dancing numbly, his eye almost closed and was looking down at his book; Kurenai was dancing in a flirt-ish way around Kakashi and trying to get his attention out of the damn book; Shino was almost moving, as he talked to one of his little bugs; and Kiba was growling and rolling over with Akamaru like the dogs they were.

This continued for six minutes (song's length). The group had seen a light at the end of the tunnel! They were now all dry for crying so much, and Neji was starving to death thanks to his throw up thing.

Naruto stood up and sighed, drying his tears and opening his mouth to talk.

"What does this mean, Ero-senin?" the blonde asked as he took Hinata's hand.

"We're starting a new business at Konoha." The man grinned and dried the sweat that was coming down his forehead.

"A new business?" asked Tenten who was helping Neji stand up straight.

"Yes! It'll be one of a kind business!" Tsunade yelled grinning at Jiraiya.

"Oh really?" Naruto asked quirking a brow and eyeing both of the legendary senins. "Looking at the grin of both of you, it must have something to do with gambling and sexy women…"

"You got that right, brat!" Both of the senin grinned as tears of joy cascaded them way out of their eyes. "We're gonna be flirty rich!"

"It's filthy rich and… what's the business about?" Asked Sasuke, not sure if he wanted to make that question.

"It was an idea of the Nine Tailed Demon Fox…" Jiraiya said sheepishly as the group's jaws fell to the floor, "but this turned out to be a **GREAT** business! He really knows how to lift up the spirit of the people. He really is someone! That Yondaime must have loved you, kiddo! To give you the soul of such a genius!"

"Riiiiight…" Everyone said, as they looked awestricken by Jiraiya's comment.

"_He's right there, twerp! I'm a genius!" _Kyuubi said grinning as he went back to his chatting thing.

"So genius…" Naruto muttered as everyone looked at him. "I said nothing…"

"Does the business have something to do with that nasty dance you performed there?" Sakura asked as she saw that Gai hasn't stopped dancing. "Somebody, please stop him!" she exclaimed as Kakashi knocked down the man.

"There…" Team 7's sensei said as the group thanked him with a bow. "Thank you for the praising… Now please, get away and let me read." He said giving his back to the group and drifting of to 'Itcha Itcha Paradise' Land. Everyone knew he was smiling, and if his face could be seen, they all knew he had some blood coming out of his nose.

"Argh… That's a grose side of Kakashi-sensei." Naruto muttered as he saw that Kakashi turned around.

"Hey, Jiraiya!" Kakashi said getting out a fountain pen and handing it to Jiraiya. "Since you're the one who wrote this book, could you like, sign it? Pretty please?" he asked as he gave Jiraiya a puppy eye, yes, you read that right, eye because he only has one eye, the other one is under his headband.

"Ok! What should I write?" Jiraiya asked as the others stared at him in disbelief.

"Well… Let's see…" Kakashi said struggling to find some words for Jiraiya's dedication, "OK! Got them! It should say: 'To the son of the man whose strength could be compared to mine and who, if he were still alive, could be my superior. With appreciation, Jiraiya (One of the Legendary Three).'" Kakashi said finishing as he saw Jiraiya writing down.

"There!" Jiraiya handed the book to Kakashi, who let out a high-pitched squealed and hugged the book. "Read it aloud, come on!"

"Ok! It says: 'For one of the most strategic guys around Konoha Village, I'm really glad you like my books. It makes me happy to know that a truly genius can be a pervert most of the time! With affection, Jiraiya! PS: Get a life, stop reading the books and start paying attention to the hottie in read.'" Kakashi finished reading it as the entire group was laughing at him, except Kurenai who was blushing furiously.

"This is an enigma no one can solve… He's a genius for many… but for others, he's just a perv." Tsunade said as everyone fell backwards anime style.

"_That is what you should call a man, twerp! He's a perv! He's a **MAN!" **_Kyuubi said cheering in Kakashi's name as Naruto's left eye started twitching again.

"_Shut up, Kyuubi. Just, shut up…" _Naruto said as the screen went black.

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Nya! Made another chappie! Cheers for me! Thanks to my BF for the great idea of making me make this fic! 

Another thanks to my dear friend **lackofname** who's reviews entertain me more than writing the story! You **GO GIRL!** May chocolate cake rain all over you! Luv ya and take care of Kyuubi for me!

And another big thanks to a reviewer (whose name I forgot) but I'm sure she'll know who she is, for telling me that this fic turned out to be very original! And you have it girl! NaruHina fan till the end! Cheers for you!

And lots of love to every reviewer and reader! Wait for my next update, soon enough, k?

Buh-Bye!


	5. Men's Nature

Heyo! It's been a long time since I last updated, but here I am again! As for the disclaimer, I'll have Genma doing it, since Kishimoto didn't gave him enough screen time, I'll have him in this chap's disclaimer!

**Genma: BlooDy-MaY doesn't own anything from Naruto, well… she does OWN some pics and drawings, but nothing else!**

Naruto: This time the thanks are for BM's boyfriend: Thanks for the ideas for the fic, man! And **LON**! The first and faithful reviewer! That's all people!

**ALL: Dattebayo Productions present: NIGHTMARE AT THE MARKET OF KONOHA'S FIFTH CHAPTER!

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**Chapter 5: Men's Nature**

Naruto took Hinata and kept on walking through Konoha as the group was still following them, the only difference now, was they were carrying an unconscious Gai around town as Kakashi kept on reading his 'Itcha Itcha Paradise' book, Kurenai was sending him flirting glances that went unnoticed by the almost blind guy (Yeah… almost blind, cuz he only sees through one eye and it's almost closed anyways), Shino was talking to a bug he came to find in the road and Kiba and Akamaru kept on growling at the beat of the music mentioned in the previous chapter.

Naruto made a sudden stop along with Hinata, and turned around to face the group, as they all looked at him in awe.

**"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE ALL DOING!" **the blonde ninja screamed as Lee, Tenten, Sakura, Kurenai and Sasuke blinked a few times and shrugged. Naruto slapped his forehead and rolled his eyes, "Why do you keep following us?"

"I ain't following you," Kakashi said, eye still in his book, "You just happen to be in my way. You see, I was heading towards the bridge, and it is this way you see, and since life is so complicated, I decided to play along with it."

Rock Lee, Tenten and Neji dropped the unconscious Gai at the road and Kakashi, thinking it was a safe place to sit, didn't hesitate to do so, just for everyone dismay.

"Can't he just for once forget about the goddamn book?" Kurenai asked helplessly as the group shook their head and she sighed. "He didn't even pay attention to the advice of the Senin…" she finished and eyed Kakashi hopelessly.

"OK! Hinata, let's go!" Naruto said taking her hand and starting to move forward with her and all the packages they were carrying. Kakashi stood up, letting Tenten, Lee and Neji grab the unconscious Gai and drag him with them, Sakura was clinging to Sasuke as he just ignored her, Kurenai sighed and started to walk the sexiest way she could to get Kakashi's attention (ending up in failure of course), Kiba and Akamaru kept on growling and Shino was still talking to the same bug.

"**STOP FOLLOWING US!" **Naruto yelled to the top of his lungs as everyone stared back at him except of Shino, of course.

Why Shino?

Well, does he even care when something revolves around Naruto?

Nope.

Does he care when Naruto yells something?

Nope.

Does he even bother to look up to a boy who's always craving for more attention?

Nope.

Does he even cares about anyone who aren't his goddamn bugs, Hinata, Kiba or Kurenai?

NOPE! The latest three are an exception… I think he doesn't care about them as much as he cares for his bugs.

Thank you! It seems you all got my point!

Naruto looked up to the creepy guy and quirked a brow; he then moved to him and poked him in his shoulder getting no response, "Hey Shino! I can see that you are the only one who aren't paying attention. May I ask why?" Naruto asked as the boy didn't even moved an inch to answer him.

"Naruto… Can't you see I'm busy?" he said as Naruto's eye brows lifted and looked for sign that showed he was busy.

"Right… What are you doing, Shino? I don't see you're **THAT **busy…" Naruto scoffed as the creepy teen sighed.

"I'm registering a new member to my club…" he said as Naruto's eyes widened and he backed a little.

"You have a club too! Like the pervy-sage! You must be shitting me! **YOU'RE A CREEPY PERVERT, SHINO!" **Naruto ran as fast as he could, to move just like… 6 inches away from Shino and hide behind Hinata.

"N-Naruto…" Hinata whispered as she saw Naruto trembling and rocking himself back and forth as he sat at the floor hugging himself.

"There are lots of perverts around here… The Ero-senin know as the 'pervy sage' or the 'open pervert'… The 'closet pervert', better know as Ebisu… Iruka-sensei… Kakashi-sensei… Old Man Hokage, may he rest in peace… SO many… I must not become one…I must not become one of them… I must not become one of them… I must not… I must not… I must not…" Naruto whispered to the thin air, voice hoarse and eyes widened.

"_You must become one, twerp! You must become one! You must become one!" _Kyuubi whispered into one of the corners of Naruto's empty head as Sasuke entered in their realm like he did while he was fighting Naruto, Sakura, Sai and Yamato at Orochimaru's lair.

"_The perverted kitsune's back!" _Sasuke said sarcastically as Kyuubi looked at him and took a pen into his… erm… fangs?

"_Look here pretty boy! Drop dead if you don't want to become my food for today, and I'm really starving… I haven't ate once since the Yondaime sealed me up here." _Kyuubi said eyeing the boy.

"_Shut up… It's not like if you could do me something with that seal over there." _Sasuke pointed to the bars that were locking Kyuubi.

Kyuubi looked a bit disappointed but suddenly smirked (If he can do that), _"You're right boy… but you're no match for my strength, chakra, nor speed…" _Kyuubi had indeed pointed something that was truth.

"_And you still forgetting that you're sealed up, useless kitsune…" _Sasuke said smirking down at Kyuubi, as the late one threw the pen and it missed Sasuke by an inch purposely.

"_You were saying?" _Kyuubi asked as he went back to his pc and was now trying to get some female kitsunes as sadistic, greedy, witty and perverted as him. _"Everything here is pure dull… Hey, kid! Do you know any site where I can find sadistic, witty, greedy and perverted kitsunes?"_

"_Kitsunes don't use to have a pc… I really wonder sometimes the IQ of the author. Or at least her mental age… She knows how to make things an enigma." _Sasuke said as he sighed and eyed a hopeless and shacking Naruto sobbing and rocking back and forth at one corner of his mind. _"Hey, old kitsune!" _Sasuke yelled as he saw that Kyuubi's eyes lit up more red than normal and watching as Kyuubi got this time a BIC Mechanic Pencil, Lead #7 and throw it at him, scratching the surface of his beautiful and pale skin. _"Sorry about that…" _Sasuke said as he massaged the bruise, _"Anyways… What's wrong with Naruto?"_

"_Ahh, the twerp… He keeps saying that he doesn't wanna become a pervert, just as his two senseis… Man.. you must call them **MEN!** They're the **MEN **of Konoha! They just know about everything that has to be done!" _Kyuubi said grinning sheepishly as Sasuke rolled his eyes and left. _"I still wonder… How does he gets here? Does he has that Jutsu that the blonde that always throws bitch fits has? What was it called again?…… Forget it. Since there are no kitsunes here… Maybe now I'll start training to be like Haku…" _Kyuubi said, his eyes widening as he figured out what he said and going to abruptly smash his head against his pc's monitor.

"N-Naruto… W-What's wrong?" Hinata asked leaning over the boy and shaking him slightly as Naruto's eyes widened by the slight touch of Hinata.

"No can do… Me cannot become one of these perverts… Now Shino's the freaky-bug-creep-pervert… What would the say about me if I become one of them?" he asked to Hinata as she quirked a brow and laughed nervously, "They would call me the foxy-pervert! **THAT CANNOT BE POSSIBLE! **A soon-to-be Hokage, being a pervert! **NO!** I resign to be like that!" the blonde yelled as he stood up making everyone look at him oddly.

"N-Naruto?" Hinata asked to the boy as she saw that he quickly grabbed his stuff and took her hand, "A-Are you alri-" she was cut of by Naruto's sudden running. "S-Slow down, Naruto-kun!" Hinata tried to calm down Naruto but the boy was running as if Orochimaru and the whole Akatsuki organization was running behind him, disappearing into the horizon as the group stood behind.

Kakashi was still looking at his book, sitted on top of Gai sensei who was starting to come around, Shino was still registering the new member to his group as Kurenai and the rest of the group watched as the cloud of dirt that was the only trace of Naruto disappeared into thin air. The group blinked, and blinked again, and again, and again.

"Could some one explain me… What the hell is wrong with Naruto?" Sakura asked looking oddly at Sasuke who was smirking by now.

"He has reprised feelings. That's all." Sasuke said taking his hands to his pockets and starting to walk.

"Wait for me Sasuke!" Sakura yelled as the boy glared at her and sighed, she being the bitch she is, ignored the things he did and tagged along with him and his walk.

"Sometimes… Girls don't understand a man's nature…" Neji said sighing and starting to walk in the same direction that Naruto was and the others decided to follow him as well.

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Well people! That's all! Want another update? REVIEW:P Anyways! Take care and be so kind and leave a REVIEW! 


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